Anything for a Decapodiformes

When Brian goes looking for a lamp, he had no idea that they he would be mistaken as a priest of the Church of the Luminous Squid and shown all manner of bizarre, hand-crafted lamps by a devout, neophyte wannabe. He also did not expect to pay $1400 for a lamp, but sometimes a pretty face gets you to do things that you might not otherwise.

Note: This play was written for a competition that explicitly indicated to dispense with producability as a factor. It would be challenging to actually produce due to complex props requirements.